How Do You Tell Someone It Was So Great to Know Them

Sometimes, yous meet someone, and you but click. You feel similar yous've been besties your entire life and honestly can't believe there was a time when you didn't even know they existed. And so, there'due south those other relationships that take a niggling more piece of work—i.due east., how it feels like pulling teeth to larn anything about your blood brother-in-constabulary. While you lot might never be BFFs with your BIL, there is a pull a fast one on y'all can use to get him to open up a little more.

Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of v Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great , says getting to know someone starts with the "latitude questions"—think: impersonal but important biographical info about a person's family, their career, and if they're unmarried or married, for example. (Although if y'all're asking these q's of your BIL... yous should probably definitely know the answer to that final one.)

Tamekis Williams, LCSW, founder of Mission Dorothy Female Empowerment Services, adds that y'all want to enquire open-ended questions that will allow the other person to elaborate, instead of questions that can exist answered with a simple "yes" or "no."

Afterward all, if you actually want to get to know someone beyond the surface level, you've got to dig deeper. "Topics that get at the other person's inner world—their thoughts, goals, and dreams—will strengthen and increase bonding betwixt two people," Orbuch notes. "Sharing personal information strengthens any human relationship, and deeper questions focus on that personal self-disclosure."

Btw, that's a 2-way street, adds Williams. "When initially coming together someone, it is of import to exist inviting and warm and then that the other person can initially feel comfortable talking with y'all."

On that note, Williams suggests taking a careful approach in your questions, as you don't want the other person to feel like you're violating their privacy. Questions y'all should probably steer clear of early: "Democrat or Republican?" "Exercise you lot own or rent?" and "What is your religion or spiritual belief?".

In that location are other ways to bypass small talk and learn more than in-depth info nearly the other person, says Williams. "You can get the answers [you're looking for] by sometimes answering those questions yourself while sharing about you. An example would look like: 'I just moved to Georgia last twelvemonth and found a beautiful customs that I fell in love with and purchased a home. What about you, practise you love where you live?'"

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With a lilliputian patience, you lot'll become manner closer with the person yous're simply getting to know in no fourth dimension. Here are 200 not-irksome questions to become you started:


"Asking someone about their preferences helps you to understand who they are as a person," says Rebecca Hendrix, a therapist in New York. The important thing here is to go deeper past asking follow-up questions. For example, "If you lot detect out they similar dogs, accept information technology a bit deeper by asking them what they like about about their dog or their favorite breed," Hendrix explains.

"Commonalities frequently open the door for further conversation and, once that door is open, you can offset a dialogue that allows the other person to elaborate and not requite close-ended answers," Williams adds.

Some other ideas:

1. What's your favorite way to spend a day off?

2. What blazon of music are yous into?

three. What was the best vacation you ever took and why?

four. Where's the adjacent identify on your travel bucket list and why?

5. What are your hobbies, and how did you get into them?

6. What was your favorite historic period growing upward?

7. What was the last thing y'all read?

viii. Would you say y'all're more than of an extrovert or an introvert?

nine. What's your favorite ice cream topping?

10. What was the last Television receiver testify you lot binge-watched?

11. Are you into podcasts or exercise you lot only listen to music?

12. Do y'all accept a favorite holiday? Why or why not?

13. If you could only swallow i food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

xiv. Do yous like going to the movies or prefer watching at home?

15. What's your favorite sleeping position?

16. What's your go-to guilty pleasure?

what's your goto guilty pleasure

17. In the summer, would you rather get to the beach or go camping?

eighteen. What's your favorite quote from a Television set bear witness/pic/book?

19. How old were y'all when you had your first celebrity vanquish, and who was it?

20. What's one affair that can instantly make your day amend?

21. Do you have whatsoever pet peeves?

22. Which meal is your favorite: breakfast, lunch, or dinner?

23. What song always gets you out on the dance floor?

24. When you were a kid, did you eat the crusts on your sandwich or not?

25. What action instantly calms y'all?

26. Ideally, how would you spend your altogether?

27. What do you do on your commute to/from piece of work?

28. Are you a fan of musicals—why or why not?

29. What'due south your favorite season and why?

xxx. What's the best joke you lot've e'er heard?

Questions tin help deepen any relationship, simply y'all should never have to inquire these ones if you're in a healthy human relationship:

31. What's the phone app you use most?

32. Would y'all rather cook or order in?

33. Have your always disliked something and then changed your mind?

34. What'south your favorite board game?

35. How practice you have your coffee?

36 What's your nearly prized possession and why?

37. Is there whatever product that you couldn't alive without?

38. Do y'all slumber with a top sheet? Why or why non?

39. If you could take whatsoever exotic animal equally a pet, which would it be?

40. What would exist the offset thing you'd do if you won the lottery?

41. What's your favorite way to unwind?

42. How do you relish spending your lone time?

43. What'southward the best concert you've e'er been to?

44. Do you have a favorite type of exercise?

do you have a favorite type of exercise

45. What causes are you passionate nigh?

46. What's something you're excited nigh right now?

47. What's your favorite content genre (horror, sci-fi, rom-com, etc.)?

48. What'south an essential part of your daily routine?

49. What'southward the best gift you've e'er received?

50. What's the worst gift you've ever received, and what did y'all do nigh information technology?


No matter how a person feels nearly his or her chore, the fact is, tons of people spend a lot of fourth dimension and energy at work. To help you get to know someone better, "facilitate a conversation where you are left knowing how they experience about their career," Hendrix says.

But prepare yourself to return that openness when they ask the aforementioned of you and your work life. "Initial conversations fix the tone for if the person wants to keep to get to know you, so be ready to respond some questions as well," Williams says.

Attempt out these convo-starters:

51. If you could choose your own work schedule, would you?

52. Is at that place i task y'all'd never ever do?

53. What'south the beginning thing y'all do after getting home from work?

54. Who or what inspires you in your career?

55. How do you lot approach taking fourth dimension off from piece of work?

56. What's something an outsider wouldn't know about your manufacture?

57. Do you accept a morning routine at piece of work? If and then, what it's like?

58. What's your commute to work like?

59. Are you able to work from home, and if so, exercise you enjoy it?

60. Do you become along with all your coworkers?

61. What's your favorite thing most your current chore?

62. What annoys y'all most?

63. What's the career highlight you're well-nigh proud of?

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64. Do you lot think y'all'll stay in your current gig awhile? Why or why non?

65. What type of role exercise you want to take on after this 1?

66. Are you more of a "work to alive" or a "live to piece of work" type of person?

67. Does your chore make y'all feel happy and fulfilled? Why or why not?

68. How would your 10-year-old self react to what yous do at present?

69. What do you remember nigh nigh your commencement chore?

70. How old were you when yous started working?

71. What's the worst job yous've always had?

72. What originally got y'all interested in your current field of piece of work?

73. Have yous ever had a side hustle or considered having one?

74. What's your favorite part of the workday?

75. What'south the best career decision you've e'er made?

76. What's the worst career decision you've ever made?

77. Do yous consider yourself good at networking?

78. What career advice would you give to your younger self?

79. Practise you lot believe in having a "five-yr programme"?

do you believe in having a five year plan

80. How do you split up your work life from your home life?

81. When will you know you've "made it"?

82. Are you looking forwards to retiring, or practice yous plan to work as long equally possible?

83. Have yous always had "imposter syndrome"?

84. What do you call back near workaholics?

85. What qualities do y'all look for in a boss?

86. Do y'all have a professional mentor? If non, do you want one?

87. What energizes you almost your career?

88. Are y'all into after-piece of work happy hours?

89. How do you motivate yourself in your career?

xc. What'southward the best career advice you've ever heard?

91. What's the worst career advice you lot've ever received?

92. When you started your electric current job, what most surprised yous?

93. How exercise y'all pick yourself back up after making a fault at work?

94. How do you deal with work stress?

95. Do you lot take a work bestie?

do you have a work bestie

96. What'due south 1 work-related affair yous desire to achieve in the next twelvemonth?

97. Who has had the biggest impact on your career option?

98. What does your family retrieve of your career?

99. What'due south the best matter you lot've learned in your current position?

100. If you lot could do it all over once more, would you pursue the same career? Why or why not?


A corking style to get to know someone on a more personal level? Learn most the people they honey. "Asking questions well-nigh close relationships tin can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connectedness and an experience of beingness seen by ane another," Hendrix explains. Endeavor:

101. How much time practice you lot spend with your family?

102. Who do you lot most similar spending time with and why?

103. Which family member makes the best nutrient?

104. How has your opinion of your family unit changed over the years?

105. If yous're close with your family unit, what'due south the hardest role nigh spending time away from them?

106. Do yous wish you had a bigger family, or are y'all happy with its current size?

107. Which family member has had the greatest impact on you?

108. What does your family'southward final proper name mean? (Look information technology up if you don't know!)

109. Who's the best gift-giver in your family unit?

110. What'due south your favorite story most your grandparents?

111. Have you ever mapped out your family tree?

have you ever mapped out your family tree

112. Were you shut with your family growing up?

113. How do you define your family now?

114. What traits are most important to you in your family unit members?

115. Who in your family makes you feel the safest?

116. Do you want a family of your ain?

117. Accept you always been to a family reunion?

118. If you lot could alter your relationship with a family member, would you? If so, with whom?

119. What was it like growing upward as the youngest/oldest/middle/only kid?

120. Does your family ever take trips together?

121. What'southward your favorite family unit memory?

122. What Telly family almost reminds y'all of your own?

123. Do yous ever wish you were raised differently?

124. What'due south the best piece of advice a family member has given you?

125. Practice you wish you had more siblings? If and so, why?

126. Did you ever hide annihilation from or lie to your parents?

127. If yous had a family business, what would information technology exist?

128. Do you and your family unit take whatsoever nicknames for each other?

129. What's your favorite fashion to spend time with your family?

130. How do you show your family you lot love them?

131. What'southward your favorite family tradition?

what's your favorite family tradition

132. What'southward the most of import holiday y'all spend with your family unit and why?

133. Who in your family would y'all describe as a "grapheme"?

134. How do yous feel well-nigh family events?

135. What'south something your family would be surprised to learn about you?

136. Which family fellow member do you confide in most?

137. How do y'all deal with arguments between family members?

138. If you have children, how do yous desire to raise them?

139. What's more than important: family or friends?

questions about close relationships can lead to stories, and sharing stories leads to connection

140. Practise you take any friends you would consider family?

141. Has your family unit e'er pressured you to act a sure way?

142. Did y'all ever get to meet your great-grandparents?

143. What personality traits do you lot share with your relatives?

144. What physical traits practice yous share with your relatives?

145. What stories did your family members tell y'all growing upwards?

146. How did your parents (and/or grandparents) meet?

147. What makes you lot proud of your family?

148. Who'southward the newest member of your family?

149. What can e'er bring your family unit together?


"In learning nigh someone'due south values, you are learning virtually their possessor'south manual," Hendrix explains. Even seemingly mundane questions tin can become at a person'south values—like what'due south motivating them to do well on a presentation or what they look for in an Southward.O.

"By learning about someone's life philosophy, you lot're able to get at their true essence, how they live their life, and what drives their actions," Orbuch adds.

That said, you tin can't just ask, "What are your values?". What you can enquire:

150. What practice you call up makes someone a "expert person"?

151. Do you believe in dear at first sight?

152. How exercise you lot bear witness kindness to others?

how do you show kindness to others

153. Do you believe in soulmates? Why or why non?

154. What exercise you look for in a friendship?

155. How practise your daily priorities reflect your overall values in life?

156. Do you believe time you lot savor wasting is not wasted fourth dimension?

157. What life lessons have yous had to acquire the hard way?

158. Practice y'all believe what is meant for you lot will never miss you?

159. Have you ever experienced true beloved, and how did you know?

160. What's a relationship bargain billow for you lot?

161. If you had simply one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you desire?

162. Do you volunteer at all?

163. What makes y'all feel at peace?

164. What are you lot most proud of in the terminal twelvemonth?

165. What makes yous feel most accomplished?

166. Who do you admire most in the globe?

167. Would you rather make more than coin doing a task you detest or less doing ane you lot love?

168. Which of your personality traits are you lot most proud of?

169. What's the showtime thing you look for in a partner and/or friend?

170. How has your perspective on the globe changed over time?

171. Do you live by any piece of communication or motto?

172. How tin can someone earn your trust?

173. How can someone lose your trust?

174. Would you lot rather someone exist honest and hurt your feelings or lie to protect them?

175. If y'all could snap your fingers and instantly brand the world ameliorate, what would y'all do?

176. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

177. Have you ever lost a friend? If so, what happened?

178. If y'all could merely teach 1 matter to your (future) child, what would it exist?

179. What's the scariest affair you've always done, and why did you exercise information technology?

180. Do yous believe in second chances?

181. Where do yous go your news?

182. What is your biggest irrational fearfulness?

183. Are you active on social media, or exercise you prefer to exist more individual?

184. What is your definition of success?

what is your definition of success

185. Are you lot an organ donor, and how did you come to that decision?

186. Do yous believe you should practice 1 affair a day that scares you?

187. What, if anything, do you recollect happens later death?

189. What line should someone never cantankerous with yous?

190. How do y'all define beauty?

191. Do y'all believe in life on other planets?

192. How do you lot interact with someone who disagrees with you?


"These questions become at what the person is motivated by," says Orbuch. "What gives them the strength to wake upward every day and get going? What exercise they dream and remember about in their mean solar day?" When you learn about someone's dreams, you share something more than intimate. Jumpstart a deep conversation past request this:

193. Do you think our dreams have hidden meanings?

194. When y'all want to give upward, what keeps you going?

195. Exercise you alive by any words of wisdom?

196. What'southward the first step you have in trying to accomplish a new goal?

197. How do you plow a "no" into a "yes"?

198. What exercise you lot exercise to overcome a personal setback?

199. Is it like shooting fish in a barrel for you to accept help in achieving your dreams?

200. If y'all could do anything, besides what you lot're doing now, what would yous exercise?

201. What do you regret not doing in the concluding year?

202. What's on your bucket listing?

whats on your bucket list

203. If you lot had unlimited money to get-go your own business, what would it be?

204. If you found out today was your concluding day on World, what would you lot do?

205. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

206. If yous could relive one moment in your life, which would it be?

207. If you lot had the opportunity to be immortal, would y'all accept it?

208. Which famous person in history would yous want to spend the day with?

209. If you could time travel, when and where would yous go?

210. Do you lot think you'll likely reach all your dreams?

211. If you could magically get famous, would you want to?

212. A genie gives you three wishes—what are they?

a genie gives you 3 wishes what are they

Sometimes the oddball questions permit y'all to learn the well-nigh interesting things about a person. "Unusual questions let you to come across the varied, unique, and special qualities of a person—their answers give you personal information almost what makes them tick," Orbuch says. "These questions also typically get the other person to think outside box and really ponder something."

But you nonetheless want to keep things PG, says Williams. "Exist careful with asking questions of a sexual nature likewise early," she advises. Aforementioned goes for the anarchistic-for-a-reason q's, a.grand.a. anything related to another person's finances, but particularly questions about child support, debt, and credit score.

Ask these ~unconventional~ questions, and you'll definitely get some interesting (in a good way!) answers:

213. Exercise you believe in ghosts—why or why not? (Bonus question: If so, are y'all afraid of ghosts?)

214. Do you accept any special skills?

215. Are you double-jointed?

216. What's your game plan in a zombie apocalypse?

217. Can you write in cursive?

218. If you lot could live in a motion-picture show, which ane would it exist and why?

219. What's your "dance like nobody's watching" vocal?

220. Exercise yous sing in the shower?

221. Are you good at solving puzzles?

222. How many hours do yous get to the drome before a flying?

223. Can you say your ABCs backwards?

can you say your abcs backwards

224. If yous see a puddle on the ground, practice you walk around it or over it?

225. If you could have a super power, what would it exist?

226. If you could go back to anytime in history, where would you go?

227. If you lot came back in your next life every bit an animal, what animal would you be?

228. If you got to name a new country, how would you determine what to call it?

229. What would be the title of your memoir?

230. Do yous hitting the snooze button or wake up immediately?

231. What'southward the first matter yous do in the morning?

232. What's the final thing yous do at night?

233. Do you lot believe in any conspiracy theories (no judgement)?

234. Do you think iced java should only exist consumed in the summertime or all year round?

235. Would you rather be covered in fur or covered in scales?

236. What'due south your idea of a perfect date (yeah, of the calendar year)?

237. What's the nigh unusual place you've fallen asleep?

what's the most unusual place you've fallen asleep

238. At a political party, where tin someone find yous?

239. Practice you wash your legs in the shower?

240. Who would play you in the motion picture of your life?

241. When making a Atomic number 82&J sandwich, do you put on the peanut butter or jelly kickoff?

242. Do you have whatever allergies?

243. Do you trust your own memory? Why or why not?

244. Which fictional character do you relate to nigh?

245. What, if anything, would brand you walk out in the middle of a movie?

246. When was the last time you cried and why?

247. What's your nearly controversial opinion virtually something mundane?

248. Exercise you "stan" any celebrities?

249. What'due south your become-to midnight snack?

250. What was your all-time favorite Halloween costume?

251. What's the weirdest thing y'all do when yous're alone?

252. Do you have any recurring dreams?

253. What'due south the silliest argument you've ever been in?

254. What'southward the worst statement you've ever been in?

255. What's your opinion on mod fine art?

anytime you reveal personal information to someone else, it increases intimacy between you and the other person

256. What'southward the nearly ridiculous outfit yous've ever worn?

257. If you could own a mythical creature (unicorn, phoenix, etc.), which one would you pick?

258. Would you rather have your dishes or clothes exist magically clean?

259. What'south your favorite story about yourself?

260. If you lot could alter anything about yourself, would you lot? If so, what and why?

"Anytime you reveal personal data to someone else, it increases intimacy between you lot and the other person," says Orbuch. And so let down your guard, and don't be afraid to ask (and answer!) these deep questions.

Acquaintance Lifestyle editor Jasmine Gomez is the acquaintance lifestyle editor at Women's Health and covers health, fitness, sex, civilization and cool products.

Lindsay Geller is the Love & Life Editor at Women'southward Health, specializing in entertainment news and culture coverage.

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Source: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a22500573/questions-to-ask-to-get-to-know-someone/

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